The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
This morning my mom went to Jesus and God. She was not in pain when she went. My dad was by her side praying and told her if God was calling to her then she could go. She went soon after. She was not in pain because they intubated her yesterday and had her on sedatives. They said she could probably hear us. I know that she knows how much each of us love her. I didn't feel like there was anything I could have said to her that she already didn't know. She was the most kind, caring, beautiful person I have ever met and ever will meet. I think of all of the selfless things she did for our family and how much she taught each one of us. She was so moral, a genuinely GOOD person and a wonderful teacher. I am proud to call her my mother and will aspire to be like her every day that I live. She was the kind of person who would drop off Christmas gifts anonymously to a student in her class who was going through a hard time. Or go out of her way to make an unconfident student feel special and beautiful. She truly touched and changed lives every day that she lived.
Emily today said that each of us has a piece of her in us. Emily has her nurturing, empathetic qualities that made her so kind to others. Dani has her knack for making things beautiful and special with attention to detail and creativity. I like to think I have some of her ability to give advice to others in need. My dad has all of her and will continue to teach us things we never knew about her before. I find comfort in being with her mother, my Nana, who always knows what to say and my Pop-pop who she got her sense of humor from. Her brother Brian is funny like her and has so many similar traits that remind me of her. These people are so special because they are a piece of her.
I truly know that above all my mom wants us to be happy. That has been her goal since the day I was born. I could not ask for a better mother. Though we will never know why the Lord took her from us, I find comfort knowing she is in Heaven, where she is no longer suffering side effects of chemo or experiencing anxiety. She said in the beginning of this experience that she has had a perfect life and has always been so grateful for everything. Not many of us can say that. So while of course we will be sad and will miss her beautiful smile, contagious laugh, amazing advice, we know she is with us and we take comfort in knowing that God is in control and that He has a plan, even if we cannot understand it right now. We will not fall apart because she taught us how to be a family--how to put one another's needs above our own and how to stick together no matter what. Each day will be a challenge, but I will always think to myself "what would mom tell me right now?" And I know that the answer will come to me. If there is anything that I would hope others could learn from our experience, it would be to treat your family and friends right, trust God, and appreciate every single day you have on Earth. We love you mom and will strive to be like you and make you proud every day!
I cannot describe the sadness that cut at my heart when Siobhan texted me about your mom. Back and forth to LA, I had no idea she was sick. She was so beautiful. I'll never forget her kind, charismatic smile.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know her well, but I remember every time I was with her. From the first time she sat in my home with your dad on Superbowl Sunday, to the times she played with my son Aidan on the side of the hill as we watched Emily and Siobhan play field hockey. The last time was at an Italian restaurant in Nashua, I forget the name. But she invited us to come up your place at Lake Winnipesaukeei. I wish I'd taken her up on the offer. Your family is truly blessed to have had such a magnificent mom.
I know it's hard, almost impossible right now, but I pray that you, your dad, and your sisters can draw from your mom's life everyday for the rest of your lives, until you all see her again in heaven. Richard Farrell
I will continue to pray for each one of you and I know God will give you strength. You wrote a beautiful tribute to your mom!
ReplyDeleteBrenda
Your strength is inspiring. I will hold you all my prayers. Xoxo Laura
ReplyDeleteMelissa you are already so much like your mother, your words are such a sign of the amazing family Julie has made. I have always seen so much of her in all three of you. The sadness of this day is overwhelming and I reached out to my brother who has such an amazing faith. He also says that we can not and may never know God's plan for any of our lives but if we all believe in him then we will all be together in heaven where Julie is without pain or sadness. My boys are so worried about Dani and we all care for your family so very much. We will always keep you in our prayers and are here for anything you need.
ReplyDeleteLove Dave, Heidi, Jake and Luke
Your mother is incredibly proud of all of you right now. She is smiling down on all of you.
ReplyDeleteMelissa, Emily, Dani and Tom,
ReplyDeleteMy broken heart goes out to all of you and I do know the pain one feels when you lose your best friend, your mother. I lost my mom a year and a half ago and what you wrote Melissa was just how I felt. My heart has never again mended,however, I know both mom's are in the most beautiful place with the most beautiful person, God. I have so many great memories of your mom; I could hear her laugh right now in the little kitchen in Allamuchy where we would gather and your dad would barbeque the best hamburgers. Most of all I can see that big beautiful smile with her sparkling eyes and know that she was truly a one of a kind. Each and every one of you have a part of her and I know she will never, ever, stop taking care of you. You will if you have not already had a sign from her because you were her world and everyone knew it. I will keep you as always in my prayers. I love you.
I am in tears reading this beautiful passage, and even though I did not know your mother, I went to become an organ donor at the Marriot on the day of the drive. I had continuously prayed for your family and mother, and will continue....may you find strength in one another and your wonderful memories.
ReplyDeleteWith deepest sympathies,
Kathy Spuler
Melissa,
ReplyDeleteYou are a very brave young woman, a true living legacy to your mom.
I know your family through Dani. My son went to Goddard with Dani and is now in 2nd grade at Dani's school. I was fortunate enough to meet your mom on several occassions over the years. She always impressed me as being a kind, generous and caring woman.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. May the wonderful memories you have of your mom and the love that she showered upon you all help to carry you through the rough days ahead.
God Bless You!
Linda Imhof
God looked around his Garden and found an empty place.
He then looked down upon his earth and saw your loving face.
He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest.
His Garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best.
He knew that you were suffering, he knew you were in pain.
And knew that you would never get well on earth again.
He saw your path was difficult, he closed you tired eyes,
He whispered to you "Peace be Thine" and gave you wings to fly.
You've left us precious memories, your love will be our guide,
You live on through your children, you're always by our side.
It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you on the day God called you home.
Hi Melissa, Emily & rest of your family.
ReplyDeleteI am profoundly sorry for your lost. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your whole family in this difficult time.
Mr. Piedra
I'm at a loss for words after reading your tribute. I don't know what to say other than I am so sorry...
ReplyDeleteThank you for so bravely chronicling this moment in your lives. What beautiful daughters your mother has raised. She has given you so much, and you will discover just *how much* as your lives continue. Her words come to you when least expected, and they will make you cry and bring you comfort, all at once. Take good care of each other.
ReplyDeleteMelissa, Emily, Dani and Tom,
ReplyDeleteI'm heartbroken that the outcome was not what you and everyone else hoped for. As I previously told you, Kevin was inspired enough to go through the the blood drive as was a match for someone else - a tribute to you and your Mother. I lost my Mother 27 years (she was only 50) ago on my 27th Birthday - while sitting at the hospital that night - I kind of knew it was "the night she was leaving to meet Jesus" - the ICU she was in was the same place where we were alone 27 years previous as it was the old labor room at St.Elizabeth's in Brighton, where I was born. I too feel blessed to have had a very similar Mother, and Melissa, I was the oldest of 6 children so I know the pain of being the oldest - sometimes a blessing - sometimes a curse. I do promise all of you - the sun will come up again, you will smile you will laugh, and you will live out your dreams and your lives as she would have always wanted you to do.
The next couple of days will be some of the hardest, I remember wanting/needing to be back at the hospital - it was where I went everyday - then I felt lost like I had no where to go once my Mom was gone....but you know what - she was felt in so many ways, I did find comfort.
She will live on through your memories to your children as mine does to mine - Nana Joanie is their guardian angel and always with them.
Please accept our family's thoughts and prayers and keep her close in your hearts!
Christine Poulter
Milford, NH
There are no words to say that will make things OK..just by you being able to write such a wonderful tribute to her..makes her smile from the angels sides...she will forever be your families guardian angels.......amen
ReplyDeleteNone of us know what God had intended for our loved ones, I do know this.. that when my father died when I was 18, the only way I was able to move on.. is that thru his teachings I knew I would see him again one day in heaven! I feel your loss, and will pray for you and your family
ReplyDeleteThe extreme love she feels exiting this world is magnified by her passage through heavens gate. She is now our guardian angel, your beautiful words inspire me.
Deletexo
My deepest condolences to your family. I knew your mom from the age of 11 when my family moved into her neighborhood. I don't if she ever told you guys of the time the neighborhood kids held a MD carnival and we all performed, with our Mickey Mouse ears. We were the "New Mouseketeers". I have many fond memories of all of us growing up. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May she be the rainbow after a storm, or the butterfly in the garden. Just know that she will always be in your hearts!
DeleteThank you for sharing this story with the community and country. Your mom sounded like a beautiful spirit and an extremely dedicated mom, wife, and teacher. I just held a memorial for my husband who passed away one month ago from cancer. I can tell you that as you all start the journey of discovering who you are without your mom physically in your lives, you will blossom and discover that she has never left you, that she lives on in you, and that she can continue to teach and guide you, as my husband does for our son. Lots of love and support coming your way from SC.
ReplyDeleteOur thoughts and prayers are with ALL of you. Tom we LOVE and hope to see you soon, remember all the beautiful things you all did together. God Bless you all, stay close always.
ReplyDeleteAunt Dee and Uncle Bill
What a beautiful Lady may you rest in peace and may the propetual light shine upon you, God Bless you and your Family.
ReplyDeletePlease accept my deepest sympathy. I met your nana at church awhile back and have prayed for your family. Your strength, your bible verses....I am in awe....of how you all are such a testimony for the Lord. Your mom sure sounds like an amazing lady. I'm sure she will be with your forever and for all eternity. I'm praying for all of you. Your words and deeds have impacted my life.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you all,
Joanie Gifford
I cried my eyes out reading your beautiful passage. I too lost my mom almost 6 years ago and I know the pain that you and your loved ones are going through. Remember she is not in pain and she lives on through all the wonderful things she taught you and your family and all the love that surrounds you.
ReplyDeleteYou are truly a remarkable woman because you were raised by one.
God Bless you
Melissa, your mom must be so proud of you! All of you! but your strength and your beautiful writings took all of us on this difficult journey with you. You made us cry, you made us smile, you made us hope, you made us prey and ultimately with you, our hearts broke.
ReplyDeleteWe only new your mom for a short time but there are some people in life that you just know instantly, are honest, loving, genuine and sincere. Your mother was one of those people. So stay strong together as a family, take care of your dad and know that she will always be there with you and never be forgotten by the people she met in life.
Dan & Joanne
Tom,Melissa,Emily,and Dani
ReplyDeleteI work with your dad, I just want to say my deepest heartfelt thoughts and prayers go out to your whole family. I did not know your mom well but by the things I have read and heard about your mom she was a amazing person. I too loss my mom over 17 years now but can Honestly say she has never left me she has always been with me in one way or another. I often see her in my children which were born after her passing. I am also reminded of her in the smallest of things in my day to day life. I am certain your mom will bless you with the same experiences.
My family and I for several years have participated in The American Cancer Society ,Relay for life. I do it with some very dear friends who lost dad 11 years ago to cancer. I know it is a mere jester but I will light a luminary in your mom's honor and add her to the list of reasons for being there. I also pray that it will someday make a difference and eight year old children don't have to grow up with out there moms to nurture and love them.
God Bless you you are in our prayers.
To Melissa, Mr. Spicer, Emily & Dani:
ReplyDeleteI was so sorry to hear of the passing of Mrs. Spicer - she was such a beautiful person inside and out. Your family has shown such strength through this process and this blog was touching. I cannot even imagine to begin how you all are feeling but please know Allamuchy has been praying for you all.
I know that your faith will help you through this difficult time, as well as those around you. She will always be with you!!
Let your hearts not be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going. John 14:1-4
Sincerely,
Betsy Clark
Allamuchy, New Jersey
To Mrs. Spicer's Family,
ReplyDeleteOur prayers are with you all. Your mom was my daughter's very first teacher back in the Hope Elementary School. The fact that she was so kind and loving made school a wonderful place and Megan and her friends all loved her back. I'll never forget the Mother's Day tea that she arranged for us; I still have the paper flowers from that day so many years ago. Someone who positively touched so many lives will always be fondly remembered.
God bless your family always,
Nancy, Katie and Megan DeRiso
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom and I've been praying for you guys all along. This summer was so much fun going up to your lake house and spending a week with you guys, I will always remember it. Just remember this Bible verse to stay positive.
ReplyDeletePsalm 55:22
22 Give all your cares to the Lord and He will give you strength. He will never let those who are right with Him be shaken.
Sincerely,
Chelsi Muller
Although we have never met, my name is John Lawson, I was Julie's cousin. I am saddened to hear of Julie's passing. There is no greater pain than losing a loved one. I offer my condolences and prayers and hope that God blesses you with his love and guidance. I lost my mom almost 17 years ago. If I may offer some advice, hold on to the memories-they really do last a lifetime. May god bless you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI am a friend of Jacka's her and I met at school. So many of us from St. Pauls would pray for your mom over the past few months. I never had a chance to fully read your blog but finally sat and did so today. You write so beautifully. Your Mom clearly touched so many peoples hearts, even many who have never even met her like myself. I will continue to pray for you guys...and keeping faith in God that he will continue to be strong and present in your lives. I lost my dad many years ago so I can sympathize with your emotions and understand the challenging road ahead for you girls and your Dad. Stay strong in faith and always know that there are so many people just like myself rooting for you guys to stay strong and never fall apart. God Bless!!
ReplyDelete